Internet take the wheel

20 December 2014

Short story time.

The other night Phoebe was really needing the loving and undivided attention of my arms while I made dinner (frozen pizza) so I had the genius idea to just "put her on my back in the Ergo" because all the other moms make it look so easy! And so I did and she hated it (strike zillion, Ergo! I know everyone loves it but ... we must be missing something over here) but in the process of buckling one of the buckles I cracked my right index fingernail almost completely in half (okay, strike zillion and ONE) ... I won't post a photo but it's really gross and it's covered by five band-aids because I live in constant fear that it will catch on something and I will die. The pain kept Baby Grace up the entire night while she dreamt up the invention of fingernail epidurals and cursed the inventors of baby wearing (just kidding, but I am serious about the epidural). Anyway, my point is that I'm blaming my fingernail injury (slow typing, a true baby here) on the fact that I'm writing a post just to ship you off into a million other (better!) directions because I know you have nothing better to do five days before Christmas than click a grip of links. (Also, I ordered and am trying both this carrier and this carrier and plan on sharing my detailed thoughts on both - get excited.)

Okay, here we go.

First and foremost, please keep sweet Courtney and her family in your prayers during this undoubtedly difficult and trying time.

Here's a new-to-me blog that I'm loving. This post especially.

You probably saw this all over Facebook but why you should drink hot water and lemon every morning.

This is as close to holiday "baking" that I've come this season.

Theo is in the throes of a major cleaning phase so he may or may not be getting this for Christmas from a thoughtful and generous uncle (thanks for the idea, Amelia!).

Phoebe is getting nothing. Just kidding.

Because I've done 100% of our Christmas shopping online, I finally signed up (took three seconds) for this brilliant website and am just kicking myself for not doing it YEARS ago. Live and learn. And regret, I guess.

I'm reading and enjoying this book thanks to Fran's recommendation!).

I've said it once and I'll say it again ... I really think Alison would make the most fun friend.

I finally joined a gym! Was my main motivation the free + unlimited hours of childcare? Perhaps. But I've had to carry a flailing and kicking and crying Sebastian (the smallest Patton child, naturally) out of Kids Club the past two days while Julia crossed her arms and calmly said, "I don't like you right now" (um, look at my care) when I told them it was time to go so I don't think they hate their time spent in the room with 89 trillion toys. But my important question is ... any good upbeat music you care to share? I can only listen to this song so many times in a row before I start feeling a little bit obsessive.

Whenever I leave the house I really should be wearing my glasses, lest I mistake a perfect stranger for a friend and makes us both feel nice and awkward so these tips were so appreciated.

Simon accused me of playing favorites with Phoebe on Instagram ...

... to which I say the kids have all had their time to shine and hers just might be now. Or, yes I'm guilty. Whatever.

I'm sure I'll bug you before then but I hope you have four very merry and stressless days leading up to Christmas. Simon has tonight off (party emoji galore) so I'm off to scour Netflix for the best and cheesiest movie he'll let me get away with.



  1. The tula baby carrier was a game changer for me. My 15 month old number four baby knows no greater love than the love shown when he's in my arms. Well, except for when he's nursing. Attached much? Why, yes. I don't think you'll crack a nail getting her settled in, although sometimes my hair gets caught in the clicky part, which is much less dramatic than a nail. What I'm saying is, I love it. He loves it. I hope you love it, too.

    1. yay! I've read so many glowing reviews. And I always have my hair up when handling crazy Phoebe -- but good to know!! ha

      thank you!!

  2. If only the toy vacuums would actually pick up dirt from our carpet... how much cleaner would my house be!

  3. I have a baby carrier that I rarely use... mostly because I never go anywhere and my son has never liked being restrained by it. I'm sorry yours was evil. Haha!

    Phoebe is SO CUTE. I would be playing favorites with her, too.
    (I just found your blog via... um... I don't remember, actually. Lots of blog-hopping got me here. But I love it!)

  4. Great post with lots of fun places to visit. I hope we have better luck with our just arrived in the mail yesterday. haha--I'll know right where to come for sympathy if I rip my nail off and want that nonexistent (for now!) fingernail epidural though.

  5. Yay! So glad you're getting a Tula. I could never get used to the Ergo either, but I got a Tula for Baby Number Four and we LOVE it. She is almost 17 months old and we still use it every single day at some point. Best best best baby (and toddler!) item ever.

  6. I've heard wonderful things about Tula and I love the chevron!! I made my husband watch The Holiday with of my faves! And I tricked him by passing it off as a "Jack Black comedy" ;)

  7. Have you seen Fever Pitch? It's several years old with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon and it's sports related but def a chick flick. Or The Blind Side for the same reason, assuming Dr. Patton has any interest in sport - or chick flicks thinly veiled as sports related.

  8. I just ordered that Melissa & Doug giraffe for Stephen Gabriel...I'm on Labor & Delivery nights all December - 14 hour shifts with Saturdays off - and so my Christmas shopping has been nil. Thank God for Amazon prime...and thanks for the suggestion.

    Also, I second the Holiday. I've seen it a million times but I still love it and Stephen didn't hate it when I made him watch it with me this weekend.

  9. Hi Five on working on yer fitness! I'm a trainer/fitness instructor and post a shit-ton of playlists on my blog. Check 'out should you ever be in the need for workout slash dance party tunes. ; ) (flexing arm and dancing lady emojis here)

  10. Last November, I wound up in the ER at 4 horrible thirty a.m. with that lovely phenomenon known as "right flank pain." I had 2 kidneys full of stones...teh culprit, a very large (8 mm) one on my right side. I was sent for lithotripsy not long after that (truly a trip, thank you Dr. Anesthesia), which got rid of Ye Olde Large Stone. The rest are itsy bitsy ones that will pass on their own...probably without my knowing it, because they are so small. The 2nd largest one,
    4 mm, exited the premises this summer on vacation (my ovaries sent my kidneys the memo about when to cause Anne fun: weekends, holidays, vacations, you know...). My urologist at my follow up appointment, as part of my "take care of your kidneys" routine, has me drinking lots of lemon water, sometimes it's lemon in sodium free club soda. Lemon water won't do anything for pre-existing stones, but it will help prevent new ones from forming. #forreal
    So, be kind to your kidneys, folks! :)

  11. Shut up and Dance by Walk the Moon is a jam. And a half.

  12. Not sure if you're primarily running at the gym, but even for regular workout music, is a fun site to check out. For running, you enter your (goal) pace and it will give you a list of music with the right beats per minute to keep you on track.

  13. I have 4 kids as well and only recently hopped on the baby carrier bandwagon by way of the Gemini. I bought it in grey, which seemed (to me) more on-trend than any of the other colors and I felt it would go the distance better than a pattern. I started using it with my daughter when she was about 9 months old (she's 16 months now). Admittedly, I often forget to use it and find myself turning to the pack 'n play or stroller, if only because they were always my go-to means of containment with the three older kids. Thank you for writing this blog! I only recently discovered it, AFTER I started following you on IG. I think it's usually the opposite - blog first, then IG, but I digress... I am in a Mothers Group at church and we've been studying the "Momnipotent" guide this fall/winter. I saw you speaking in one of the videos, put two & two together and realized it was you I was following on IG, and then came to discover your blog. I love your authenticity and wit - you brighten my day. Catholic school girl honor! Have a Merry Christmas!

  14. I checked out EVERY.SINGLE.BABYWEARING.CONTRAPTION amazon would ship to me when my little one was first born. I settled on the Bjorn One. The original bjorn was the only one that didn't kill my back after 30 minutes of use. However, my little munchkin is a heat factory and needed something mesh. The one comes in regular fabric as well, but can be worn on the back. He falls asleep in it everytime. Can't say enough wonderful things about it and the back support. My husband and my mom find it easy to use. Merry Christmas!

  15. Phoebe is just so trendy with her beanie and her baby mocs, how could you NOT play favorites?!

  16. Where is this mythical gym with free + unlimited childcare!?

  17. I'd suggest checking out some of Henri Pfr's remixes. He's got some great tunes for an 18 year old!

  18. i'm a sucker for nick jonas' "jealous" right now. :::hangs head in shame:::



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