I always go back and forth and back again about how honest (or I believe the buzz word these days might be, "authentic") I want to be on thuh blog (or "this space" as some might say). I should probably rein it in but I'd hate to give you a watered down version of the fun around here. I also really appreciate reading fortuitously timed posts like this because I do love some e-kinship and solidarity on the difficult days.
So. I'll keep the hose off and tell you that yesterday I was in a funk.
A bad one. For no good reason! I think I was just fighting off the bizarre feeling of isolation and loneliness that can come with staying at home (for me!) but with kids-a-plenty grabbing at my "big mommy bottom" (thanks for that kind description, Bash!) and lone plastic pearl earring in my left ear and my hair (Phoebe + hair pulling = true love) it feels like such an oxymoron, you know? The kids were their usual level of handful but nothing out of the ordinary so I took them to a new-to-us grocery store for our staples (bananas, tortillas, generic Excedrin ... ) but even the 48 minute change of scenery did approximately nothing to rain on my pity fiesta parade. I practically sprinted up the stairs to our room to bury myself in a book for 45 minutes when Simon came home because I like to face my feelings and problems head on like a big girl.
Anyway, we all have those days. I know it. And despite the devastating drop in temperature, today has been a million years better. It's just tough to be even the slightest bit circumspect when you're a little bit down and overwhelmed with your usual plate, I think.
Okay! I'm done. Thanks for being a silent sounding board. I could've skipped the road trip to the desert where all forms of happy go, fail to thrive, and die but you don't get off easy around here. Aka ... LONG and windy way of saying that we've got a lot of good going on right now. And always. But here are just a few of the currents ...
The big kids went back to school.
Seriously. Freezing this morning.
The kids love going to "school" (preschool, playschool, whatever) and were so happy to go back on Tuesday. Julia did have those weird freak outs last semester and I know they could return with a vengeance but for the time being, she's good.
a pleasant surprise for Sebastian - I forgot that we signed Bash up for both days this year as opposed to just one like last year and so after explaining that he would have to come home with mom ("I promise you can have a sip of my coffee if you don't throw a fit when we drop Julia off!" discipline philosophy extraordinaire!) he was thrilled to find out that he'd get to stay for the morning with J. I love Sebastian but ... I was too.
The school is just a block down from our house - so while the weather allows (two more seconds, is my prediction) it's nice to walk the kids to and from school. There IS a huge huge grassy hill to climb to get to the parking lot and wearing Phoebe and pushing the kids while huffing up the hill leaves me with fiery lungs and hot red cheeks when we reach the entrance. But today, Sebastian offered to get out and help me push.
Such a sweetheart.
(more about that skin imperfection in a minute, don't deny you don't see it)
but then I realized he just wanted a longer stare at the big concrete and digger (technical term) trucks working on the road behind us.
Okay. That's all for that. I could've thrown a back-to-school post at you but ... I snuck it in. De nada.
blemish/zit/breakout - I know I've told you on many occasions before that my skin was really bad back in high school and college. I worked at Eddie Bauer my senior year of high school and we had to go around and clean all the mirrors at the end of the night and ah! It was awful because at that point my spackled on concealer had melted off and I my peripheral vision couldn't help but notice my face dotted with what looked like a bad case of chicken pox. After dining on a diet rich in junk this past weekend my skin rebelled big time and rolled out a nice little cluster of imperfections for your viewing pleasure (see above for my favorite one). I know it's cheesy as bleep but little skin skirmishes like this make me so happy and grateful that I'm out of the mirror-fearing woods of yesteryear because they were many and much. I should've skipped this one, huh? I know. I do.
killing the catnap - When Simon was on nights in July Phoebe got into a terrible habit of taking a little catnap around 7, waking up at 8 ready to PARTY until 10 ... or later. I surrendered to survival mode and let it ride because I was at that point in the eternal shift where I was super tired slash lazy. She continued the life ruining trend for the million weeks to follow and Simon and I would take turns swaying her back and forth and back and forth in spoiledville while watching a show of our choosing (FNL for me, PBS for Simon) until she eventually caved. But this week I rolled up my parenting sleeves and fought to keep her awake (a bath, having Julia snort-laugh at her .... nothing makes Phoebe laugh so hard, dancing, anythinging) and she's finally going to bed shortly after Theo around 7:30 for the night. Life ... I'm coming back for you. Get excited.
you! - You (and you! aaaaaand you!) all send me some of the nicest emails and leave the best comments ever ... all the time. Simon keeps telling me to put them in a special mail folder (but I'm like 9 year of age when it comes to email know-how) to read when someone exercises their e-right to be nasty and I start making plans to kill the blog forever (never, I wouldn't. I'm just an extra rational human in the face of ugly). Someday I'll figure out a way to thank you all adequately, I hope. But for now, take this paltry paragraph as the teeniest token of my appreciation.
Okay. Let's stop there. Yep, that's it. I hope your hopes were high coming into today because .... nothing screams interesting and quality reading like preschool, pimples, baby sleep prattle, and a little Hallmarkage.
Nothing at all.
(and if you have some not terrible things to share .... I'm all eyes ... let's celebrate the tiny and mighty together. Ahem. Speaking of Hallmark ... why have they not hired me to write for them?! Come on now.)