Pages

02 April 2013

Simon Says



After telling me that he had flipped through a book on vocations to the diocesan priesthood and I said that maybe he had missed his calling Simon responded, "definitely not, think of all the sacrifices I make that bring me closer to God by being married to you."

In response to me asking if he'd like to bathe Theo since he's never ever done it before Simon said, "no thanks, I'll go ahead and keep the streak alive."

Dropping a subtle hint regarding his opinion on how many chocolate chips I put in my chocolate chip cookies Simon said, "Julia is enjoying a chocolate CHIP cookie - emphasis on the singular."

After I bragged about Julia not waking up at all the other night, Simon responded, "I'm not impressed - we both know she's going to be 16 and crying from her bunk bed because her bottle is stuck on her braces."

Climbing into bed with a book:
Simon: this book always puts me to sleep
Grace: oh, what's it called?
Simon: Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery
Grace:

On his love for coconut oil while I was making pizza dough ...
Grace: hmmm we're out of olive oil I guess I'll just use coconut oil
Simon: you may as well just use vinegar
Grace: get out

After he read a Conversations with Julia post Simon said, "no more Simon Says posts - I'm old and decrepit Jay Leno and she's fresh faced Jimmy Fallon."

After he saw me wearing a pair of his stretched out dirty white socks with a regular outfit Simon said, "sooooooo, I guess you weren't planning on making any trips to the marital bed today?"


40 comments:

  1. FAR FROM JAY LENO!! Keep 'em coming.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As always, I am laughing at my desk like a lunatic. Jay Leno is still appreciated by many in the "older" circles. Tell him to hang tight. He's got a loyal fan base. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Julia, with braces & bottles at 16... oh my goodness, my cheeks hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Too much funny in one family!

    ReplyDelete
  6. So do you hide the chocolate chips like I do and just eat them like candy? Or use them to top Greek yogurt? And I wonder why I can't ever lose that last 5 pounds!

    ReplyDelete
  7. After he read a Conversations with Julia post Simon said, "no more Simon Says posts - I'm old and decrepit Jay Leno and she's fresh faced Jimmy Fallon."

    Well, yes, exactly.

    Totally kidding.

    Mostly :)

    Totally.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm going to have to remember the stretched out sock trick.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahahahaha! Normally I like to leave more detailed comments, but that's all I did the whole post, giggle. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ahhhhhh.....I kept thinking each quip was the best/funniest, and then I'd read on...they just get better and better :) The bathing Theo line sounds like something straight from my husband's mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  11. As always these are great. When I saw a Simon Says post in my reader, it's like a first trimester nausea cloud lifted and the birds started singing.

    But honestly, Martha Stewart, homemade chocolate chip cookies AND pizza dough in the same post??? What are you taking and where can I get some?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Man, I always get super excited when I see the Simon Says title for a blog post.

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahaha marital bed!

    i was just thinking that conversations with julia might be my new fave...move over, simon says!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You're just a family full of funny. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love when I see a Simon Says post in my reader - this did not disappoint.

    Aaaand I just realized how much I must have mentioned your blog when even my husband referenced it yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Here's to another streak you are keeping alive, another excellent installment of Simon Says!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Is it sad that I read your "SImon Says" posts to my beloved while in our marriage bed?? We laugh and laugh and then go to sleep like the old people we are. I heart Simon and I agree with him on the chocolate chip thing. MORE is better!! Always.
    Peace out sista! (always wanted to say that LOL!)

    ReplyDelete
  18. So I don't have to use the headache excuse anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Julia's truly a rising star w/ her comments, but Simon Says is still holding it's own.
    All hilarious but the bottle & braces one is just hilari-est!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hahaha Simon is stylish enough to know that oversized menswear is called the "boyfriend" trend!

    Also pretty sure J will need to nurse before bed until he is 16...so Julia's bottle sounds like no biggie, lol

    ReplyDelete
  21. braces & bottle comment...seriously not sure if he can top that one. (actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he did). SO. FREAKING. FUNNY.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is great!! Thanks for sharing this funny stuff :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I seriously LOVE these posts -- and Conversations with Julia. I read them to my husband. Your family is so funny! I look forward to these. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Got a little giddy when I saw the post title! Me love Simon Says!He and my husband are twin sense of humors separated at birth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and he has the same streak going. Only our youngest is 11 months!

      Delete
  25. I'm liking the visual of sixteen year old Julia with braces, myself.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Simon Says posts may be one of my favorite things. You got me good with that last one! Oh, the marital bed!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Last time I asked Tom if he wanted to change Ryder's diaper, he responded, "Why would I WANT to change a diaper?"
    Touché, Tom... Touché. These hubbies of ours really have a way with words!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wow, hadn't had a good laugh in a few weeks. Thanks for that. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can't believe no one has commented on the Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery one... My favorite!

    ReplyDelete
  30. What is with you and letting socks do the no-sex-tonight talking? So funny! I gotta have Phil put on some black socks and sandals and maybe that will help us abstain...

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am always short on time to blog read but I never miss a Simon Says. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Obviously Simon hasn't seen Business Time by Flight of the Conchords...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhN93rFZuJs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Second this. Business Time is the most glorious song known to man. And woman.

      Delete
  33. I die. Seriously, best blog ever.

    ReplyDelete