one upping Alexander

04 August 2015

Yes, that Alexander

For my recentish 32nd (!!!) birthday I asked for Simon to be okay with the dining room being painted white (it was a terribly depressing shade of angry sky blue and since there are no windows in the dining room it was dark and yes, depressing) and then asked that he actually paint the dining room white himself. Low maintenance wife.

I also asked for three months of exercise classes (barre, specifically ... it's very difficult - for me, at least) because in addition to being low maintenance I'm also a super fun individual. SO ... I've been hitting up the classes at 6am on the days Simon's schedule allows and yesterday was one of those days. And it was also (shockingly) pouring rain. I'll blame the rain but on my way home I decided to not take the interstate, "in case there was an accident that held up traffic" (see: retrospective irony and you know where this is heading, right?) and I encountered a bit of a hydroplaning situation when slip and slam .. right into the car in front of me. Fun little wreck to get the day started off on the right wheel. We were both fine. The Odyssey took the hit like a champ and her car suffered very minor damage, thankfully.

Anyway, my victim called the police and we sat in our respective vehicles on the side of the road and waited. And waited. And waited in the still pouring rain. After an hour, I swam over to her driver's side window to see if we could just exchange information because Simon needed to get to work and I think we'll wait until Julia is at least five to leave her home in charge of everyone and she all but told me to talk to the hand and said I was welcome to call the cops myself.

Alright.

I hopped back into my vehicular waiting room and suddenly remembered that my license had expired on my birthday. And then! The van died. The rain ... it was still pouring. Simon didn't think he could get out of the driveway to come get me because our street was flooded (and eventually closed later that day) and his car seats five ... not five car seats + one adult driver SO .... I realized I was very much up a literal and figurative creek and tried real hard not to cry too hard lest the (remained to be seen) cop think I was both an unlicensed hazard to the good drivers of Tampa and mentally unstable.

This is a stupid story but I'm not about to throw away all of this wasted typing. Precious finger muscle exertion and all of that.

The cop eventually showed up and wrote up the report and the other lady was on her merry way. The cop told me I needed to get off the side of the road slash rising river asap. I explained that the van was dead and no-can-do and she (kindly) offered to drive me home (in the back seat - she made that clear, which cracked me up) but I'd already called a cab (Sheeagle Scout like survival skills, that Grace) and so off she drove. Until! She turned around and came back. In the pouring rain and jumped my car which started just fine. God bless her. I might even forgive her for citing me for driving sans license.

Kidding.

No forgiveness here.

Kidding again.

Anyway. Morals of the story ...

1) exercise is dumb and potentially dangerous
2) I can never pound out a post without a series of progeny photos ...


outfitted for the rain but staying put on the porch ... just in case those boots were put to their intended use


unscripted. always.



Phoebe kisses back. Sort of.

All's well.

I just had to get that off my chest and into my eventual archives so that I could relive the sunny memory in the near or distant future and maybe even laugh instead of cry. Someday. Maybe.

37 comments:

  1. Ohhh!! The worst!! I'm so sorry, but I'm also glad you made it home. Also; you're getting up at 6 am with a newborn in the house?? Amazing!

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  2. Oh Grace, I would have been crying real hard! My car died at an intersection (busy one at 7am) about a month ago and I called my dad (called the hubs first but he was at work) and practically hyperventilated on the phone to him about my car dying and how would I move it and nobody would actually stop to help me and yeah, it was as pleasant as it sounds (you should have seen the guys face who actually did stop to help me as I was on the phone....poor generous soul most likely wanted to run the other way). So nice of the cop that helped you out, even though it took her an eternity to get there! And, Theo kissing Phoebe....heart melting!!!

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  3. One of my cousins lives in Tampa and was posting some crazy rain photos yesterday!

    And I agree that exercise is dumb and potentially dangerous. ;)

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  4. Ugh!!! I am so sorry! And just when you think you might be granted a little alone time to torture your limbs with some stretching and toe touches. Glad to hear that it was noting too major, physically of course, mentally not so much. Dvds in the living room sound pretty safe right about now. LOL :)

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  5. Oh I'm sorry grace....
    But points for going to classes at 6am!

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  6. Oh I'm sorry grace....
    But points for going to classes at 6am!

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  7. 3rd takeaway: keep arm floaties in the car at all times just in case road becomes river again. ;) Glad you're okay and you survived the "talk to the hand" "victim". haha. Good job.

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  8. oh my gosh, this is so sad. i wanted to cry for you! earlier this year i was on my way to a pre surgical appointment and having had my 2 yr old son in the room with me at my last appt that involved an uterine ultrasound.....the one with the umm, wand...and him touching my foot in the middle of the scan and of course tried to open the door to the room, i had arranged a babysitter for my surgical appointment but the babysitter did not show up and i ended up throwing him in the car with me, of course he fell asleep 3 blocks from the appointment and then it happened i rear ended a lady and i gave her all my info and called my insurance company and reported it while we were waiting on the police for the report that SHE insisted on...meanwhile making me late for my pre surgical appt that my son didn't have any business going to but, you know. Thankfully he continued to sleep for the almost 1 hour we were waiting on the police who have much bigger/worse/horrible wrecks and crime things to attend to. My insurance company even called her to get info while we were sitting there waiting but she still insisted on this report. So frustrating! These things always seem to happen and I am so sorry it happened to you. Go you for that 6 AM class though, wow!

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  9. There is no rainstorm like a florida rainstorm. 4 years have florida living have taught me that. I also heartily agree that exercise is dangerous (my flabby thighs are seconding that statement.) So glad you were all right, but on the bright side-florida DLs don't expire for 20 years, so there's that (however miniscule ray of sunshine...)

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  10. I'm sorry about all the depressingness in that story, including 6am exercise. But I also asked for rooms to be painted for my birthday! And then for more rooms because I liked those!

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  11. Oh you poor thing! I despise car trouble! I've been scarred by my car I drove in college which routinely died wherever it pleased, which included the interstate, multiple high traffic intersections, and often my campus parking lot. And I'm just now noting that it never died at my apartment complex, it seemed to pick the most high stress scenarios for breaking down. But I've lived to tell about it!

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  12. Oh no!!! No good exercise goes unpunished. I feel very sad for you after reading this, what a nightmare! Waking up that early is bad enough.

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  13. Since my little town doesn't offer barre classes, I get to do them in my living room (yay youtube!) but there's no way I'm getting up by 6 to do them. You're my hero(ine). Car trouble is the worst! I'm glad there wasn't much damage but what a terrible way to start your day.

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  14. I would have been a bucket of tears and then more tears and then the ugly cry. You did miss your, probably only, chance to have your pic snapped in the back of a police car.

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  15. What a terrible start to the day, but I'm glad you weren't hurt and the vehicle limped home. Too cliche to say 'when it rains it pours?' Thought so. Wishes for better (and drier) days!

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  16. I haven't seen 6 am willingly in a looong while! How do you do it? I want to be a morning person, but I'm such a horrible night owl that I need to fix my evening habits before I even think about my morning habits.

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  17. Ugh, bright side is that the kids weren't in the car too, right?? Tampa was a mess yesterday, every road I tried to take home was closed!

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  18. That sounds AWFUL and I'm so sorry. I definitely would have cried.

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  19. There are so many details here that were lacking in that text convo...

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  20. Poor Grace! I would have cried and then cussed A LOT! Glad you made it home safe!

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  21. Holy cow what a nightmare! I would've cried SO much. SO much. Seriously: I was on the phone with our health insurance a few weeks ago and a woman asked me for some information that I've submitted like three times and I started to cry and literally couldn't speak. She put me on hold so I could get it together. So you sound like an absolute champion relative to how I would've dealt with a truly frustrating situation.

    Also re: the adorable Theo/Phoebe pics: Jake does that exact block with Lucy June!!! He'll whop her good if she so much as looks at his Star Wars Legos, but if she's within thirty feet of a road that little sister savior posts right up.

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  22. Gosh!! What an awful day. Did Simon get to work okay??

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  23. I would love to be a morning person, but I need to fix my afternoon and evening routine before I can even think about getting up before 8. And then it'll be a looong time before I'm up before 8 happily.

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  24. I am so sorry! That is an awful day! I once backed into my neighbor's parked car across the street leaving my house like a bat outta hell after my hero husband got off work and watched the kids while I went to the grocery store to shop for my sanity. You can imagine how that ended.

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  25. Seems like a good enough reason to not exercise to me! But really - that sounds not fun and I'm glad the cop decided to be mostly nice! My mom still has to remind me to renew my license, so there's that.

    Also, Theo and Phoebe look like twins. So now you have two sets of twins plus Bosco, right? ;)

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  26. I hope you treated yourself to a glass of wine or five, because after a morning like that you deserve it/them!

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  27. I thought it was just me that rivaled Alexander! Yesterday was a DAY. I got home at 9 pm from work to do more work and as I turned into my lovely apartment complex I picked up a screw in one of my tires....so I took many many deep breaths, parked my car, inspected the tire, went back to where I knew I'd had a run in with the screw, and searched the ground with my phone flash light and found another screw and other not good for tire objects which I picked up while cars drove around me. (You're welcome fellow apartment dwellers.) THEN proceeded to take many many more deep breaths so I could not cry when I called roadside assistance to make sure I was still covered in case morning came and tire was flat. This morning? Not one, but two new tires required…all that to say I FEEL YOU.

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  28. whoa. first of all, so glad everything turned out ok! second, i was rear-ended a couple of days ago in my van (all the kids and no husband with me) and left my license at home. oops. i guess i'll just go with the cliche flow and type #twinning ...sorta

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  29. Glad you're ok! Your sense of humor is the best why to deal with this kind of...crap day. Keep it up!

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  30. You are such a super woman! I have a teenage son and a 5 week old baby and even though I worked out throughout my pregnancy I cant imagine getting out to a 6am class right now.

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  31. Yikes. That's so sucky. :( Good you're okay.

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  32. "Exercise is dumb and potentially dangerous." YES YES YES! Let us all learn a lesson here! :)

    So glad you're ok & sorry this happened. But thank you for the laugh and the feeling that my little home life isn't the worst, some days. PS, my husband would have KILLED me.

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  33. Oh my, that sounds terrible!! Glad you're ok, but also I'm glad you learned that valuable lesson.

    On another note, how are all your kids so dang cute!

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  34. May I offer you a very alcoholic beverage? Because you totally earned it.

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  35. Oh Grace! So sorry, lady. What would life be if it went perfectly all the time, right? :/ There would be nothing to laugh about later! On another note, I freakin’ love barre classes. Best workout ever.

    Hope you had a better day today!

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  36. Love the story! Sorry about the Alexander day!

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