Bosco's Birth Story (part one)

13 July 2015

ho hum.

here she goes again.

throat clear.

Sunday, June 14th (38 weeks + 1 day pregnant)

Simon woke up early to go to work for his very last day on Labor + Delivery (but not last day of residency - his call shifts were always on L & D and this was his last call shift, so many party + alcoholic beverage emojis) and the plan was to take the kids to visit him for lunch later that day. I had had no signs of labor prior to that morning other than loads of Braxton Hicks which is pretty standard for 20+ weeks for me. And a terrible mood which roll your eyes but when I start Googling, "bad mood - impending labor?" ... I know bebe day is on her pretty little way. I swear it. Anyway, about an hour after he left I noticed that I was contracting regularly and sort of painfully but not anything even remotely "get thee to the hospital" worthy. But after an hour of contracting every 4-5 minutes - I let Simon know via text because we're modern like that. He's seen enough precipitous deliveries to know that a fifth baby could come rather quickly but I was 100% positive that I wasn't even close to delivery but he told me to bring my hospital bag when I visited him for lunch anyway just in case. There was a Cardinals game going on down the street and you never know what kind of traffic cluster you might run into on game days.

So! I got my bag packed (gobs of hair bows and head bands because of course! it was most definitely a little lady baby) ... with zero distractions slowing me down ...


 ... snapped one of these for the sake of posterity ...


 ... and enlisted the help of my child-army to help me carry everything downstairs.


Theo was the most helpful with an empty bottle and a travel-sized bottle of un hair product extraordinaire.

Of course! As SOON as we got in the car ... the contractions slowed WAY down. Hate that. I'd been down that road before. But as soon as we got to the hospital and walked around ... they picked right back up.


Simon was super opposed to me going back to the apartment with the kids for the rest of his shift but I absolutely refused to be the 5th time laborer hitting up triage "with painful contractions" and being a mortifying 1cm ... the exact same measly cm that I was a week prior at my appointment.

So! Back to the apartment we trotted for naps. The contractions never FULLY stopped but they slowed to about 8-10 minutes apart and I kept expecting them to completely peter out but they kept on keeping. Simon came home and I decided to take the elevator down to the parking garage and climb the stairs up to our apartment on the 20th floor. I cranked some beats and climbed.


It took me a song and half to make the climb and Simon accused me of just taking the elevator up and SAYING I made the trek. Funny. And not the case.

I had a few hard contractions while climbing and by the time I got back up to our apartment they were back to 3-4 minutes apart and started to really hurt. Grimace, stop to breathe through them, and ALL. I texted our sitter (again with the modern relationship) and asked her to come over. We told the kids we were going to get the baby out which prompted Sebastian to repeatedly lift my shirt and inspect my belly button asking how the belly button gets big enough to let the baby out? I let Simon handle that while I tried to get Phoebe to give me even one little hug or kiss (no and NO) between contractions that were now causing me to sit and wall stare while ignoring everyone. Our wonderful sitter showed up an hour later and we were off.

In the car we discussed boy names because we weren't 100% decided because I was 99% positive it was a girl. We'd tentatively decided on Ignatius James but didn't know if "Iggy" fit with Theo and Bash (who cares? I did!) even though I love that name and nickname so we decided to run with Bosco even though we knew we'd get squinty eyes and head cocks every time we had to tell people his name. C'est la vie. Why not ruin your child's childhood with a weird name? JK. Mostly.

The contractions slowed down a bit in the car and didn't pick up full steam as we walked into the hospital and doubt started to creep in loud and proud that I'd be sent home not sweet home. We checked in around 8pm where I was weighed (first time that's ever happened at the hospital, seems cruel and unnecessary but! maybe that's just me and every other gestator likes stepping on a scale at that point in her pregnancy! Pork can sprout wings, I'm sure) and given a bracelet and eventually whisked up to L and D which made me feel better that I wouldn't have to kick it in triage for an hour to see if I was in true labor.

Moment of checking truth. My nice nurse declared that I was 4cm. Whompity whomp whomp. Nothing crazy but enough to stay because the monitor was picking up my contractions and I think she could see the crazy glint in my eyes that might come out to tangible play if she told me to leave. One of the residents came in and did another checkity check and may or may not have done a slight membrane strip to get things moving even faster without the help of pitocin and ... it worked. Contractions. Contractions. Contractions. Painful contractions to the tune of, "no fun." So I pulled out my typed and laminated birth plan that I'd spent countless hours perfecting that went a little something like this:


verbatim.

The IV is always the worst part of the entire birthing process for me but it isn't ever THAT bad. And this time was no different despite making the mistake at glancing at the needle and wondering if they've accidentally grabbed a knitting needle because holy fat needle but ... it's always fine. No crafting in sight, ever.

epidural was got. uneventful. worked beautifully. I could move my legs but no pain in sight.

The resident (female, thank you Jesus) came and broke my water and declared that I was 5cm.

So we settled in for our wait.


Serenity, thy name is Grace.


Simon filling out the cord blood donation paperwork and um, watching TV.

My biggest fear throughout the pregnancy was that this baby would be our third little OP presentation and I would have to hurdle another 2-3 hours of pushing while everyone watched and chewed on their thumb nails in an effort not to start twiddling. My doctor even asked the resident via phone call to check and see if this baby was face up because fool me thrice. But as far as she could tell ... the baby was NOT. AS FAR AS SHE COULD TELL ....

... to be continued. SOON.

part II here!

37 comments:

  1. Hey look at that first commenter whoop. So your birth stories always sound so hally so please send me some of those awesome vibes for my 2nd birth haha (first was a totally unplanned and unwanted and hated and still bitter about c - section due to crazy blood pressure and pre eclampsia, like the kind of swelli where when your doc sees you 6 weeks later she can't pick you out in the waiting room cause you no longer look like the nutty professors sister) anyway your little guy is so cute!! You make motherhood look so effortless!

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  2. Birth Plan = HILARIOUS!

    Can't wait for the rest of the tale...

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  3. The IV is the worst part of the whole thing?! Really?!?! I had my 5 kids with 4 c-sections... and the IV is the least of my worries. C-sections and recoveries are SO painful. It makes me a combination of bitter and sad to hear easy vaginal birth stories. Cue the tiny violins.
    Congrats on Bosco. He is absolutely precious and will fit right into your beautiful family!

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  4. I seriously snorted at your Birth Plan....best Birth Plan I ever did see! I love me some Patton birth stories and you know I'll be holding my breath till the next Part, better only be 2 lest you keep me hanging longer! JK! I had c sections but the WORST part of both was the spinal...holy hell that needle, I really don't know what it looked like cause I never actually looked at it but I kind of want to throw up right now just thinking about it....gross and scary and just no BUT it was always fine! Me and needles of any kind will never be friends in this lifetime, I wrote needles too many times and now I'm gonna be sick!

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  5. Hate, hate, HATE the IV. I can't watch and my poor husband has to survive the death grip on his hand that comes with insertion. I love nurses who humor me and do the freezy-spray thingy on my arm. Love them. After it's in, it must be taped and covered within an inch of it's life so I can't see it going into my air. Because, gross.

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  6. typed and laminated birth plan was bomb. I love you. Can't wait to hear the rest! Don't leave me hanging too long!!!

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  7. Baha that IS my birth plan. Perfect! And I love reading birth stories like this that are realistically not pain-free but also not horrific and make me want to weep at the thought of labor. :)

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  8. I love your typed and laminated plan! Hopefully soon is tomorrow or later today works for me.

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  9. thank you, from the bottom of my drug-seeking heart, for the birth plan template.

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  10. BEST birth plan ever!! Can't wait for part two! Hope all is well in Boscoland 😜

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  11. I think I will be using your birth plan should I decide to risk another child :)

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  12. Look at you. Going up the stairs -- all 16 flights? booyah!
    and poor simon. He just finished his call night and he was back at the hospital for another labor and delivery. Good thing it's his offspring :)

    Love birth stories - especially yours!

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  13. dammit Grace, I knew there was a part two but still, I somehow expected to know how this ends and this cliffhanger is no bueno. Quit unpacking and keep typing!!

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  14. Can't believe you were thinking of Ignatius James! That's our fifth son's name!! And yes do think Ignatius goes with Sebastian as I shared with you previously Sebastian is our 6th son's name:) Do love Bosco though and I have waved that name past my husband before. We choose Vianney instead, also on that list for 6th son's middle name.

    Looking forward to reading installment 2

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  15. I just delivered my 5th at the same hospital yesterday!! Only I was the one who had a dramatic entrance only to find out I was 1 1/2 centimeters. But to be fair, my water had broken first and my baby did come pretty quickly after we got settled in.
    Pretty sure I mentioned to my husband that i was thankful your family had already moved as I felt that i already "know" your husband and couldn't imagine what I would have done if he was the resident on call.
    I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your story!

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  16. Dude you stole my birth plan😏 and yes the IV is the worst part for me too, numba three and the nurse had just gotten my vein with with knitting needle and hooked up my Meds and said oops, cue me looking and seeing spraying blood and promptly passing out! Good thing I love babies✌️

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  17. This is the second 2-part birth story I've read today (on blogs I regularly read, I'm not searching these suckers out). Thank you for being slightly less terrifying than the first. However, as someone who now has this in her not too distant future, I'm questioning some life choices...

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  18. Love reading your birth stories...so far so calm...

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  19. Waiting with bated breath for part II (what has my life become?!!!!)

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  20. Waiting with bated breath for part II (What has my life become ??!!!!!!!)

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  21. That first picture of Phoebe is so freaking cute!

    Can't wait for part 2! That birth plan= perfect.

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  22. LOL if my hubs was a resident dr I would have him feeling me up to see if I was enough cm's to head to the hospital!

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  23. Your birth stories are always wildly entertaining! And your birth plan! How dare you steal that from me! I worked so very hard on it. ;)

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  24. Here here for names ppl don't get and blank stares... We went with Linus with # 4 and ppl have straight up asked us why we didn't pick a sensible name like John or Paul.. But we love our Linus so whateves.. I love Bosco!! So cool!

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  25. Congratulations!!! You are a superwoman for having 5 babies! Love to read your blog and keep up with your family :)

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  26. That is what my birth plan looks like too, for real. God bless epidurals. Congrats!

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  27. Soon means like in an hour right? Haha! And what is with the pre labor room weight check? They do that to me with Odette and I was like really? Is that necessary? I half expected the scale to just say BIG.

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  28. Read this after painting my nails a very dark purple, ha. And can I look like that in labor?

    Type out the rest!

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  29. Oh, mama, I am cracking up! PS. You looked beautiful!

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  30. Love reading your birth plans!! What was the girl name you were considering (out of curiosity)? I love all of the names youve picked!

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  31. hanging on for part two! another OP presentation?? can't wait to read the rest.

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  32. Yay! Bring on part 2! Love this stuff.

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  33. Okay…broke down and read.
    Agree! The IV is the worst, esp when it ends up in the inner bend of your arm or when it's a crafting needle.
    If there weren't a precious baby-child on the end of these stories, y'know?! :)

    speakinawhich…

    //whenever you're ready...//

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  34. You look so pretty while in labor. How do you do it??

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