Some not terrible things

14 April 2013

(Call weekend! You know the drill - I rant. Sorry.)


I really, really, really, really, REALLY wanted to title this post, "is eff-bombing residency eff-bombing over yet?" (no, no it is not still 2.3 years to go) to convey my true feelings about today but in an effort to make this a positive space on the Internet - LUH-HI, that is a lie. I don't care to make this a positive space because I think there are plenty of positive spaces on the internet. In an effort to not sound like a raging + ungrateful b I went with the cheeriest title I could think of/recycle from an old post.

Whenever Simon is on call (why is it called "on call" when he's at the hospital the entire time and is rarely able to sleep for more than one 30 minute feline nap? - because all things related to residency make absolutely no sense) after a little bit of time not being on call we generally get into a small to medium fight/spat/tiff. We just do. Whether it's related to a failed attempt at visiting or Grace just being her crazy self it generally happens ... I just didn't expect it to flap its petty wings and fly at 7:45 this morning. It did and it's over but in the middle of my fuming and all three kids waking up in their special moods reserved for when Simon isn't here to help I realized the stupid internet wasn't working. Judge away but a call weekend without internet just won't fly. I have to sleep with Hulu blaring and I really rely on Netflix as my babysitter when I'm busy brooding over petty fights or need to do something without Julia demanding a hug and a kiss (her new thing when she senses I just might be being productive).

So, I called (hate calling but going online wasn't going to work even though I tried) the place and dealt with the she-robot voice for awhile before she started spewing her, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that" in response to my barks at the kids for I don't remember - they were being bad - trust me. So finally after persistently demanding, "talk to an agent, TALK to an agent, TALK TO AN AGENT" I eventually talked to a human who saw me through my crisis and as politely as possible observed that I sounded somewhat frustrated and that he was very sorry. Bless him and shame on me.

Anyway, in the midst of unplugging routers and shutting down the computer and plugging the modem back in and making a bottle for Theo WHILE carrying Princess J around I heard a very bad sounding splat and saw this ...



Yes, he is but not right now because I'm trying to talk to this patient man that is probably about to drive out here and throttle me if I say, "um ... which one is the modem again?" one more time.

Also, not pictured are the two eggs that Bash managed to squirrel away and suck down because he is disgusting. Anyway ... that was an introduction (brought to you by my friend brevity) to my short list of semi-sweets because one day maybe I'll graduate to embracing the power of positive thinking.


1. (small) Run: I finally womaned up and took the kids out in the triple jogger alone on an actual run this morning because the weather was finally not reminiscent of Santa's backyard. I couldn't even make it up the hill I used to conquer when I was in my first gag-heavy trimester with Theo and he is now 3.5 months old but ... a millimeter of progress at a time.

2. Theodore Augustine: The other night Theo would not sleep. I got in bed 5-6 times in a row thinking he was all tucked in and ready to rock a goodnight but no. I was frustrated but it dawned on me how good of a bebe he normally is because that sort of thing hasn't happened for a long time. I should probably thank him.

3. Julia's hair: When it's down it's a messy nest of, "why do you keep her hair short?" but when she requests "veggie tails" she almost looks like a normal female toddler whose mother hasn't butchered her locks 4 too many times.

4. the buck stopped at the eggs: I think Sebastian sensed that he had crossed the invisible line of doom with the egg toss and held it together in the disaster department for the rest of the day. He spilled a full cup of water all over himself at the hospital while visiting Simon but .... his problem. Well, he also bit Julia's leg this morning and tonight when I put her pajams on the teeth marks were still very visible but .... her problem.

5. My sister blogged: FINALLY.

6. The weather. I went there. Seasonal Affective Whatever - it affects me and it was gorgeous today. If it snows again Simon and I might need to discuss a long distance marriage and he can visit me and the kids in our new found home: tropical climate.

7. Music: I know it's all over the radio but I still love this.

8. Trickery: Our SUPER DUPER chatty neighbor sensed that I was about to take the trash out so he parked himself in front of our house just as I walked outside this afternoon so I just walked back in through the back door because -- we love you Gene but nap time could not be delayed 34 minutes while we discussed lawn weeds again.

Fiddlesticks. I really thought I could come up with ten things but apparently you can't blog yourself into being an optimist.

Next time! With rose colored spectacles on emoticons and all.



36 comments:

  1. I love how you wrote eefff bomb in this. I so wanted to do that in a post and Matt was like, "really kristin, don't think you should do that." But it WAS what I was thinking!

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  2. Whilst reading on my phone through blurry contacts and a coughing "it's just a virus, it will run it's course" 4 month old sleeping on my chest, I was determined to figure out what the egg picture was of before I continued reading.

    All I could come up with was krispy kreme donut holes. Because those def make a splat sound, riiiiiight

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  3. I loved this post, even though the intro is all the frustrating stuff, it seemed so honest, which somehow made me laugh (a lot) because I can relate.

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  4. Thanks for your honesty and for giving me something to read at 3:30am while I'm up with my nocturnal bebe. Hope the kids are angelic for you tomorrow!
    Totally jealous you went for a run. It's still too freaking cold for me to brave one, esp with kids.

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  5. well thats a pretty bloody good list given that I'm looking at broken eggs on your floor. Husbandless days/weeks are sent straight from the fiery pits of hell- it's factual.

    8 out of 10 aint bad- you're o'right grace!

    xo em

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  6. My four year old totally does the "look Mommy's doing something say 'Mommy-I-NEED-a-hug-and-a-kiss!'" move every time I'm getting something done.

    And while your egg incident might have sent me over the edge (I'm sure it would have because I just stomped around our downstairs after discovering the oranges were left in the car while it froze last night, and that wasn't even messy), I loved the picture of Basher with the eggs in the background after the egg picture! Your little ones are so cute!

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  7. For years I had a magnet on my refrigerator that read "Mothers of Sons work from Son up to Son down". Amen, sister. The truth. At 13 and 15, it's still true, but I passed down that beloved magnet that gave me hope in the sisterhood of "its-not-just-me" to my neighbor of a 1,3, and 5 year old. Keep those pictures coming, you'll need them with your book!!!

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  8. You seem remarkably calm despite the egg incident. That..combined with a husband-less weekend and the internet not working would have sent me over the edge.
    -Amelia

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  9. I really had to grin reading this. You are such an excellent writer. I almost felt like I was there.. and felt the frustration with you.

    We all know how these days are. Hope you will have a good night sleep after this. And maybe a good glass of wine. That usually helps me after a long, long day. I don't even have to drink it. Just the thought of having a glass of wine and putting my feet up, effing the whole world for that moment, because it's mine...that helps :D

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  11. Tropical climate. Yes. We'll take everyone and simply send correspondence to the significant others. All in favor?

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  12. OMG. Julia photo-bombing the Basher egg-situation! That even got a laugh out of my husband. You'll laugh too. Someday. A long time from now...! You can come live with me in Atlanta during the spring. 75 and gorgeous here yesterday. Sending some internet hugs your way!

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  13. The Florida panhandle is lovely this time of year. We have extra space in J's room and you and I can just veg on the couch and watch "Ready for Love" on repeat. Oh and some of your PB cheesecake pie deliciousness is chilling in the fridg right now too.

    Call weekends are the worst (worst!!). I can't wait to go to Mass solo today and then attend the mandatory meeting, which happens to be after the longest Mass and nap time. Trifecta of awesomeness ;)

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  14. The egg thing would have totally left me f-bombing. But then, I am severely allergic and would have needed a haz-mat suit, 20 minute shower, Benadryl and Merry Maids to de-contaminate the area.

    Also, I actually think it's weird/annoying when other people aren't at least a little concerned about the weather.

    Finally, silver linings are great, but longs days with all kids and no hubby...you have the right to complain.

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  15. Julia looks adorable with veggie tails and Bash's head looks much better as well. Also, What happened to the days when you could just press 0 and talk to a real person instead of screaming at the phone in a slow but articulate voice so that they FINALLY figure out what the eff your saying?

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  16. I feel a little evil chuckling at your post but I've been there and it bring back memories of having 3 kids under 4 and Tim traveling non stop, sometimes over a week at a time. The non-distasters and whining and then somehow I now have 4 kids under 6 and it's easier because of that 6 year old girl.

    Hang in there, and keep posting because 1.) it makes me laugh 2.) I know it's cathartic

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  17. This is a really helpful post for me because I'm feeling super-unloving towards my crazies right now but at least they didn't crack a bunch of eggs onto the floor and I'm not parenting solo all weekend!!! Not that I'm like, happy that you're unhappy? But you know, solidarity, sister. Because things are crazy over here too but not AS crazy this time!

    Prayers that Bash doesn't get salmonella or anything...

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  18. Oh, no, not EGGS!! My jaw dropped and my eyes almost popped out of my head. It´s so hard to clean them and get the smell out of everything. I find that the only thing worse than broken eggs is spilled milk. Take it easy Grace :) By the way, I live in tropical climate and it´s NOT THAT GREAT either :(

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  19. You can say "THE WEATHER" again....I don't know if I know where you live, but my humble abode is in this place we call the beautiful midwest, home of 10,000 lakes and all 4 seasons. Except this year, mother nature decided to have us all pay for the mild winter last year and make this year's winter double in length and frigid temperatures which includes but not limited to; GROSS sleet, rain, snow, and shoveling in APRIL. As I write we currently have a snow storm outside with sleet, rain, and ice. Awesome.

    Basically that was me venting, but mostly to say I feel your pain! I hope that spring in your parts is there to stay since I might just be out of luck and need to hibernate until I know sun is shining again.

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  20. Here's an idea: you move to New Bern and I become your nanny. Sounds like a plan! (Bait: casually bumping into Nick Sparks now and then!)

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  21. My hubby's on call this weekend, too-transplant lab. And I have a broken leg and am in the first trimester, so if he goes my sanity just might go, too.

    My 4 year old calls breaking eggs hatching them, as in "I'm weally good at hatching eggs, lemme try this time". I bet you are, sweetheart, but no. Last week my sis and I were trying to stuff freshly boughten groceries into the fridge when we heard two of the SMACKS you describe-uh-oh. My daughter screamed in an outraged voice, "Mommy! Henry hatched TWO EGGS!" It was so funny my sister and I ended up laughing, which was lucky for Henry's 2 year old butt. My leg prevented me from cleaning them up so Auntie got the job this time, but I hate broken eggs on floors. So sticky.

    Hang in there!

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  22. Is Theo wearing baby moccs?? I die.

    (I think we may be shoe twins)

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  23. Kids Are Awesome. Some days the good doesn't outweigh the bad. My husband went away for 2 days, the kids watched ALOT of movies. Come to New Zealand we've had an endless summer, and we have hospitals. I enjoy reading you and your kids are beautiful.

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  24. I definitely agree that the weather has an impact. When it was eternal winter here in the DC area, I feel like I was always fighting with my husband, hating my job, and self-destructing internally. Once the weather warmed to a mere 80 degrees, it's like I became this organized, industrious, productive, energetic weirdo that is totally in love with her husband and can't wait to tackle the next challenge at the office. So strange. So strange.

    It's definitely rough to imagine parenting three wee ones all alone for more than 8 hours -- even 8 is long. I love that you take pictures, though. It's really great to capture the moments, even while they're annoying you. :D

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  25. I thought those were potatoes or apples at first! Eggs- I would die.
    I totally agree about the good baby bit- it's hard not to take it for granted that they're always so mild-mannered. When they fuss I think, "You're not supposed to do this!". Thanks for posting, even through the days of stinkage.

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  26. You help me channel positive thoughts with funny, genuine tales from a greater mother than me! 3 tiny children all day everyday is worth writing about--you have a big job, mama! and you do it so well! I love this song, too.

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  27. Julia's face in the "oh oh" picture literally made me laugh out loud here at work... I had to show my patient what I was laughing at so she didn't think I was pyscho. Then she was like "oh this is your sister's kids? your friend?" and I just went with yes so I didn't have to [sadly] admit that I only know you via internet stalking :D

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  28. Have you heard of/considered joining the "lives of doctors' wives" FB group? Lots of virtual support and just a great group of ladies who "get it".

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  29. Grace - take solace in the fact (yes, its a fact) that you can wear leggings as pants and look HAWT...like REALLY good! Only approximately 1.1% of all females in the entire world can do that.

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  30. you are never, ever allowed to say that you can't run when you are pushing that monstrosity!! up a hill?!?! i pooped out on saturday b/c i had to carry a water bottle.

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  31. Your kids are crazy cute and Ellie did that to me last week with the eggs. Nothing is worse (bodily solids excluded) to clean off the floor than eggs. SLIMEY.

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  32. You're hilarious! Love your writing!!

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  33. Oh, and your kids are the cutest!!

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