Simon Says

02 April 2013



After telling me that he had flipped through a book on vocations to the diocesan priesthood and I said that maybe he had missed his calling Simon responded, "definitely not, think of all the sacrifices I make that bring me closer to God by being married to you."

In response to me asking if he'd like to bathe Theo since he's never ever done it before Simon said, "no thanks, I'll go ahead and keep the streak alive."

Dropping a subtle hint regarding his opinion on how many chocolate chips I put in my chocolate chip cookies Simon said, "Julia is enjoying a chocolate CHIP cookie - emphasis on the singular."

After I bragged about Julia not waking up at all the other night, Simon responded, "I'm not impressed - we both know she's going to be 16 and crying from her bunk bed because her bottle is stuck on her braces."

Climbing into bed with a book:
Simon: this book always puts me to sleep
Grace: oh, what's it called?
Simon: Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery
Grace:

On his love for coconut oil while I was making pizza dough ...
Grace: hmmm we're out of olive oil I guess I'll just use coconut oil
Simon: you may as well just use vinegar
Grace: get out

After he read a Conversations with Julia post Simon said, "no more Simon Says posts - I'm old and decrepit Jay Leno and she's fresh faced Jimmy Fallon."

After he saw me wearing a pair of his stretched out dirty white socks with a regular outfit Simon said, "sooooooo, I guess you weren't planning on making any trips to the marital bed today?"


40 comments:

  1. FAR FROM JAY LENO!! Keep 'em coming.

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  3. As always, I am laughing at my desk like a lunatic. Jay Leno is still appreciated by many in the "older" circles. Tell him to hang tight. He's got a loyal fan base. :)

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  4. Julia, with braces & bottles at 16... oh my goodness, my cheeks hurt.

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  5. Too much funny in one family!

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  6. So do you hide the chocolate chips like I do and just eat them like candy? Or use them to top Greek yogurt? And I wonder why I can't ever lose that last 5 pounds!

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  7. After he read a Conversations with Julia post Simon said, "no more Simon Says posts - I'm old and decrepit Jay Leno and she's fresh faced Jimmy Fallon."

    Well, yes, exactly.

    Totally kidding.

    Mostly :)

    Totally.

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  8. I'm going to have to remember the stretched out sock trick.

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  9. Hahahahaha! Normally I like to leave more detailed comments, but that's all I did the whole post, giggle. :)

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  10. Ahhhhhh.....I kept thinking each quip was the best/funniest, and then I'd read on...they just get better and better :) The bathing Theo line sounds like something straight from my husband's mouth.

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  11. As always these are great. When I saw a Simon Says post in my reader, it's like a first trimester nausea cloud lifted and the birds started singing.

    But honestly, Martha Stewart, homemade chocolate chip cookies AND pizza dough in the same post??? What are you taking and where can I get some?

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  12. Man, I always get super excited when I see the Simon Says title for a blog post.

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  13. hahaha marital bed!

    i was just thinking that conversations with julia might be my new fave...move over, simon says!

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  14. You're just a family full of funny. Love it!

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  15. I love when I see a Simon Says post in my reader - this did not disappoint.

    Aaaand I just realized how much I must have mentioned your blog when even my husband referenced it yesterday.

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  16. Here's to another streak you are keeping alive, another excellent installment of Simon Says!!

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  17. Is it sad that I read your "SImon Says" posts to my beloved while in our marriage bed?? We laugh and laugh and then go to sleep like the old people we are. I heart Simon and I agree with him on the chocolate chip thing. MORE is better!! Always.
    Peace out sista! (always wanted to say that LOL!)

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  18. So I don't have to use the headache excuse anymore?

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  19. Julia's truly a rising star w/ her comments, but Simon Says is still holding it's own.
    All hilarious but the bottle & braces one is just hilari-est!

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  20. Hahaha Simon is stylish enough to know that oversized menswear is called the "boyfriend" trend!

    Also pretty sure J will need to nurse before bed until he is 16...so Julia's bottle sounds like no biggie, lol

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  21. braces & bottle comment...seriously not sure if he can top that one. (actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he did). SO. FREAKING. FUNNY.

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  22. This is great!! Thanks for sharing this funny stuff :)

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  23. I seriously LOVE these posts -- and Conversations with Julia. I read them to my husband. Your family is so funny! I look forward to these. :)

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  24. Got a little giddy when I saw the post title! Me love Simon Says!He and my husband are twin sense of humors separated at birth!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and he has the same streak going. Only our youngest is 11 months!

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  25. I'm liking the visual of sixteen year old Julia with braces, myself.

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  26. Simon Says posts may be one of my favorite things. You got me good with that last one! Oh, the marital bed!

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  27. Last time I asked Tom if he wanted to change Ryder's diaper, he responded, "Why would I WANT to change a diaper?"
    Touché, Tom... Touché. These hubbies of ours really have a way with words!!

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  28. Wow, hadn't had a good laugh in a few weeks. Thanks for that. :)

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  29. I can't believe no one has commented on the Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery one... My favorite!

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  30. What is with you and letting socks do the no-sex-tonight talking? So funny! I gotta have Phil put on some black socks and sandals and maybe that will help us abstain...

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  31. I am always short on time to blog read but I never miss a Simon Says. Love it!

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  32. Obviously Simon hasn't seen Business Time by Flight of the Conchords...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhN93rFZuJs

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    1. Second this. Business Time is the most glorious song known to man. And woman.

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  33. I die. Seriously, best blog ever.

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