stripes abound

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30 November 2011

up-to-down
-
towel weave
towel lair
 mulllllllet and commissioned to map out an escape for me
the only thing worse than flared spandex on a mom is highwater flared spandex on a mom
a precious moment, I'm sure
it's a wonder Lucy isn't obese and Julia isn't a rail as she donates all of her calories to the canine
-

I noticed a heady theme woven throughout our day at home (always at home -- I'm working on garnering some crazy courage to brave the car and public with tyrants in tow -- cautiously pessimistic about the prospect thus far -- I'll keep you posted). 
Stripes galore. 
Crazy galore, I know.

Also, much to my horror and amusement, Julia told a barking Lucy to 'shut up' last night right before she robot marched over to my nursing post and stuffed my nursing (breast? gross) pad under her shirt and held it there as she continued to robot march in circles around the room.  
I think both she and her mother need to get out more. 

maybe tomorrow, maybe not.

better than nothing ... or not

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29 November 2011

 doesn't Sebastian look pleased?
don't my lenses look transitional?

Hopefully I'll start having better days and will be able to showcase more than bad Photobooth photos and links to humans that actually know the meaning of productivity.

Any spare time in betwixt nursing, nursing, nursing, diaper changing and basic life saving (today it was a very close call with Julia and the steepest stairs that would have most certainly led to her near death or serious paralysis, yesterday it was a very close call with Julia and a large quantity of my {deadly to her?} thyroid medicine, maybe tomorrow we'll dabble in scissor juggling - to spice things up a bit) is spent shredding with crazy J. Michaels because my postpartum jiggle-be-gone vanity comes before blogging. 
You're welcome.

I can't wait to read the rest of Lauren's love story.
Ana has been tearing (stitching?) up the alteration scene.
The next three consecutive spare hours I happen upon ... I'll be making these
My love for Suri continues.
I wish I was this patient and creative.
 
and now I'm off to nurse a baby or change a diaper or save a life. 
schmoductivity.

Simon Says (Travel Edition)

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28 November 2011

 the only photos I captured from our Thanksgiving vaca
good thing Julia looks so pretty in the top photo


After driving (hello hell) and arriving to our Thanksgiving destination circa 3 in the a.m. and Julia not skipping a beat with her usual early grunt-grunt-come-get-me-or-I'll-grunt-your-ears-off cock-a-doodle-annoying the following (well...the same) morning, Simon asked,
"Did I drink 30 beers last night?"

On the return trip (hello hell again) after changing Julia's outfit for the third (of four) time due to diaper failure/diluted juice overdose, Simon admitted,
"I saw an advertisement in the bathroom stall for a $79 portable DVD player ... I was very tempted."

During one of Julia's interminable screamscreamscream tantrums on the drive back home, Simon whispered,
"I mean I feel sorry for her ... but I feel more sorry for us."


and then there was a 30 minute episode about six hours into our trip involving the filthiest Toys "R" Us (we were double dipping - bathroom and bottle nipple purchase stop) in America, Julia's pajamas winding up in the trashcan due to a diaper failure of a more serious variety, Simon's jacket being covered in diaper failure remnants and Simon force-escorting me into the disgusting men's restroom to see/smell the remnants of the diaper failure. The episode was chock-full of great Simon quotes but I was too busy cry-laugh-crying to remember them exactly.
Sorry.

and repeat again

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25 November 2011

things I (unfortunately) catch myself saying out loud over and over and over again on a(n) daily/hourly/minutely basis
~~~
no
please stop whining
sssshhhhhh
where is your baba?
no
stop whining
ssssshhhhhhhhhh
look! your baba is over there
no
why don't you go find your dolly
I see your dolly ... do you?
stop whining
no, NO
do you want some chicky nuggets?
eat your chicky nuggets, Julia
where is your baba?
please, no!
do you need a new diaper on your bottom?
come back here, you need a new diaper on your bottom 
no no no no
please be gentle
gentleeee
don't pull Sebastian's hair
don't pinch Sebastian
please be gentle
do you need a nap?
nap time!
don't pull Lucy's hair
Lucy is going to bite you and I won't blame her
gentle, please
noooooo
let me check your diaper
do you want a bath?
come back here, you need a bath
no, no, no
you can bite mommy, don't bite Sebastian
ouch
stand up
sit down
lay down
stand up
you have a booger
let me get your booger
I almost got it
come back I need to get your booger
no
no
no
no
and
no

and no for the W
always no

may the civilized folk have mercy on my embarrassed soul
~
happy
black
Friday

storybook sequence

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24 November 2011


coffee spied
coffee spilled (didn't skip a sip of the beloved bottle)
remainder of coffee observed
remainder of coffee drained
spilled coffee spread
spilled coffee lapped up 
spilled coffee spread (with fervor this time)
small break to harass Sebastian
more spilled coffee on the floor {!}
lick lick
break
rest in spilled coffee on floor
el fin
ps Lucy finishes

Happy Thanksgiving

Simon Says

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23 November 2011

 Occupy Bouncy Seat

I'm sure it makes no difference but I am convinced Sebastian sleeps/naps better in his vibrating bouncy seat (with sensible lamb ears). I'm always asking Simon to drag it upstairs or downstairs or wherever I need it to be at that particular high maintenance moment. 
I usually say, "can you bring the vibrator here please?"
Simon always replies, "can we please not call it that?"

and

(received via text from his post on a busy, busy day on Labor and Delivery)
"Long delivery. She went natural. Lots of poop."

schedule

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22 November 2011


 {irrelevant to post content but this is an hourly occurrence - I think she has only successfully semi-smothered him twice}

I'm trying to get Sebastian on some semblance of an eating/sleeping schedule. 

Laugh laugh. 

The kid would eat 24/7/52/365 if that were an option ... which has kind of been the case these past few weeks. This permalatch 'schedule' worked out fine while Simon's mom/my mom/Jessica were here because they could attend to Julia's needs while Sebastian drained all the milk, marrow and (fingers crossed) cellulite out of my person, but now that I am staring a lot of Hans Solo weeks in the face with Simon's utterly wretched sched ... the time has come to wean the monster from his luxurious little lifestyle to which he has grown painfully accustomed. I have gotten really good at tending to the necessities while nursing (blogging, clipping and painting my nails, making coffee, pouring wine, cutting chicken nuggets with scissors, texting smoke signals to Simon and of course - driving) but I accidentally bashed Sebastian's suckling head against Julia's I-just-woke-up-from-a-nap-and-am-in-a-rottttten-mood bedhead after clumsily lifting her from her crib which resulted in a marathon screaming session from both hurt parties so .... schedule be mine!!!

I don't realllly mind the all night on and off feedings but the other night he latched on and I watched in horror as he did not stop furiously eating for nine (9) hours s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t (6:15 p.m. - 3:15 a.m. hell). When I detached the monster ... blooood curdling screams would follow ... which are most definitely not conducive to a peacefully sleeping tyrant toddler downstairs.  If our neighborhood Target or grocery store or any store had been open for business at 3 am and was stocked with formula ... I would most definitely have waltzed in ... with Sebastian attached and all ... purchased a case of the magic powder and chucked it and the babe at Simon while running for the guestroom (has a door lock).

I read Baby Wise when Julia was little and I remember the method (nothing crazy...just the usual eat, wake, sleep ... space feeding 2.5-3 hours apart) kind of working for a little bit so I'm giving that method a go. So far it hasn't carved out any free time for me/more attention time for Julia because his 'wake' time is spent crying, being bounced and coddled and force fed the purple pacifier (don't even mention the c for colic word because you might get killed by the nastiest look I shoot you pee-ronto). The nights have only procured a couple of 4-6 hour stretches of a blissfully babyless bed but nothing truly consistent to celebrate.

I've heard seven too many times..."and then he/she/angel just started sleeping through the night at one/two/three weeks old! so crazy!" 

oh. 
that's nice.

You must be a wizard parent with an alien child because I'm just a human parent and both of my human childs never did that ... even at six/seven/eight/nine months of age. 

so crazy.

check it (again)

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{thieved photo}
 
Read allllll about Jessica's time at the Camp


check it

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{as always, photo unrelated}

Cari is hosting the second annual Snapshots from a Sunday post. I contributed the least exciting photo and peer pressured Jessica into participating as well. 
Head over ... if only to marvel over Cari's kids' brilliant/unique/envious names
(and bonusalert (!!!) she is pregnant with her sixth ... can't wait to hear the freshborn's moniker!!)


BBLIT
{be back later, I think}

what friends are for

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21 November 2011


As mentioned previo, Jessica visited this weekend. (read about her flight over....here) We didn't do much but it was so (so so so so so so) nice to have a verbal being keep me company while Simon worked, Julia repeatedly unplugged all living area sources of light and Sebastian ate and ate and ate and ate.  

Simon was kind enough to watch both miniterrors on Saturday night so we  could tear up the shopping mall scene (J.crew clearance rack and H and M everyrack), eat food court sushi and split some health food from Five Guys.  

Jessica was a real saint about packing the kids up with me on Sunday and hitting up my long lost love...the Goodwill...in the rain.  She tolerated Julia emptying her wallet, stealing her cell phone and annoyingly/creepily watching her change clothes. She also shared in diaper duty, didn't complain about the frozen pizza cuisine and cheerfully rose at the ungodly hour of realllllly early with me and the crazies. 

She successfully trained Julia to be 'gentle' with poor Lucy who has recently been falling victim to vicious pinches and fur pulls.  

Basically she was my saving grace...or saving Jessica I suppose. 

Hopefully we didn't scare her away forever from our Cheerio strewn, annoyingly dark, sometimes fussy, sometimes whiney baby lair. 


Merry Monday to you and yours and theirs.

another day

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19 November 2011

more cop out links. 
albeit good cop out links. 
 
oh, fine 
your collective sigh convinced me to share a little bit about things around here first

Last night Julia upped her terror ante and in the span of an hour:
pulled her dresser on top of her person (it is a flimsy Ikea dresser .. but still)
dragged a number of my bras into the bathroom and fully submerged them into the toilet water
ate the flower centers off of my beloved fake orchid
and
swallowed a bottle cap, threw up the bottle cap which was graciously accompanied by her chicken nugget dinner 
(Lucy was happy to lick up so I can't really complain about that one)

oh...you don't want to hear anymore childchatter? 
I don't blame you. 

this little lady is hilarious
this was so cute
Julia and I heartheartheart this song
(she doesn't understand English yet so the one repeated curse is tolerated)
Jdel is here to visit this weekend-hiphophurray

that's all.
bye.

get it, julia

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18 November 2011

today

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17 November 2011


today has been slightly better than yesterday ... praise the sanity gods

Instead of throwing her usual go-to tantrum about not getting to drink a full cup of coffee this morning Julia opted to furiously lick the bare floor...providing Lucy's one eye with a little entertainment

She also bypassed the vegetable oil and only spilled a manageable amount of baking soda near the broom
what a sweetheart

She completed her trifecta of good deeds by sharing my lap with Sebastian and not pinching, biting or pulling his hair
harmony be ours

and not to be outshone by his big sister, Sebastian decided to tolerate a nonhuman pacifier
(high pitched voice-MIRACLE)

brightsides abound

 ~
some fun clicks (flicks) for you
~
(hilarious) men's fashion
(if I ever get to sew again) shirt tutorial
(super skinny) mocha
(call me crazy, Simon did) coffee face scrub


anddddd I typed too soon
we have some new developments
~
Julia faceplanted the floor from her robot walk resulting in a fat, bloody lip
and
It's looking like Simon will never, ever get home from work this eve


tight-lipped smile.

postpartum living

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16 November 2011


Lots of highs. 
Lots of lows.  

Around these parts, postpartum life involves rejoicing over the mighty victories of a made bed, my cup of coffee inhaled by me and me alone, a 4 minute shower, mom dressed (in her nicer sweats) and minimal crying (adult, toddler and infant).  Bonus points are awarded for makeup applications (priorities), toddler and baby dressed in new (for the day) clothing, laundry done, and any ventures outside the house (never have I ever and it's not looking promising for the next yearish).

Yesterday morning was a big fat loooooooong find-me-a-shovel-so-I-can-dig-a-hole-so-we-can-go-lower low. The bed most certainly was not made, Julia drank and spilled my coffee, the shower was only 45 seconds long, mom rocked her ugliest stained sweats and everyone cried...a lot. And bonus points shmonus points. None here.

To adequately salt my failure wounds, Simon's exit time from work kept getting pushed back and I was very much looking forward to the mandatory work dinner he had to attend (spouses not included) that night. Julia kept trying to climb into her doll stroller and simply couldn't accept the simple physics of the fact that her large bottom would not be fitting in the small stroller. She also pitched a fit when she couldn't take my nail polish off ("Little Brown Dress"...Simon calls it "Black Coffee" because he claims it is actually black) my nails to play with...like she enjoys doing with my glasses, earrings and eyebrow hair.  Julia soaked through three pairs of pants and learned how to flush the toilet-unrelated facts but both equally annoying. I've been hit by the ugliest fatigue train that even my toughest pregnant days never saw which makes everything a little bit worse than it seems. Sebastian has decided that he requires that he be spooning his bare food source while sleeping which is a horrible development. We'll have to nip that habit immediately. Horrible pun-please forgive me.

And don't think that I didn't let Simon know about each and e-v-e-r-y little tyrant nightmare that went down. Martyrdom could wait ... I wanted empathy, sympathy and solidarity right then and there.

This is where I should say that things turned around yadda yadda and the day was saved. Of course Simon eventually came home and the day was eventually fine after I got to nap (with Sebastian at his high maintenance sleeping post) and Simon took Julia on a long walk and on a nice errand run-but let's not dwell on the positive.  All horrible, bad, awful for me!

Today might be better...or it might be worse (pretty please no no no no no no no no) but there are nice moments to get me through. I won't litter the post with fragrant cheese but I will say that Julia's seeming indifference to Sebastian has taken a turn for the tolerance meets curious stares. Sebastian's pretend smiles are more frequent and when he is awake, alert and not crying he is kind of cute. Simon is the most patient man on the planet and is probably vastly outnumbering the times I change a diaper 3:1 these days. He doesn't cringe when he comes home from work and I'm still wearing the same sweater, nursing tank (hate) and maternity yogas I was wearing yesterday, the day before yesterday and the day before the day before yesterday. . .I know I would.

Postpartum living is rough.
It's okay. 

(I'm tempted to type a little rhyme like...
tomorrow is a brand new day
or
you'll live to see another day
or
something equally awful
but I won't
you're welcome)

hadios.

Guest Post: Ana on Baby Naming

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15 November 2011

Ana and I went to college together and have reconnected thanks to my favorite...the internet. I was thrilled that she chose to write about baby naming because I love to obsess over (especially girl) names while Simon loves to not obsess and rapidfireshootdown my always brilliant suggestions.  Ana stays at home with her two cute little ladies and keeps a lovely little (very enjoyable!) blog that you should most certainly visit, follow and frequent. 
anddd without further ado...

Baby naming:

Hyacinth Michiana Palin

This is the name that my husband, Mike, would tell people we were going to give our first little girl.
It was a joke, one that he thought was especially funny, but always made me really uncomfortable when he would actually tell people that we were naming her that. I sat through many a blank stare before they realized we were not serious.

Baby naming is a funny thing and after I saw Grace's post about name strength, I started to think more about it. Plus a few days later my sister had her fifth little girl and that really got me thinking about it.

I did not over think baby naming when I was pregnant with Naomi, our first girl. I was just so stinking excited to be having a baby, I figured whatever we named her, it would be fine, good, great, whatever. But I do remember looking at all of the papers in the hospital after she was born and seeing her name written on everything, and realizing what a permanent, life long, no-going-back thing it was (unless she decided to change it, but let's be honest, I think that is what we're trying to avoid at least a little bit).

So then with our second, I had my ideal name picked out. I felt GREAT about it. I had no doubts in my mind at all and I even had Mike on board. Elinore, and we would call her Nora. So cute, right? Classy and beautiful, nothing could go wrong. Until one day my wanna-be theologian husband came home and told me that the Pope had written some beautiful letter on the importance of Catholics using names of great saints in the Church when naming their children. I tried really hard to ignore him, but I could not stop thinking about it. My Catholic guilt was crushing me since I did not pick the name Elinore in honor of any saint and could not actually find a saint Elinore. So we went to the drawing board again and ended up with Bernadette Martha if it was a girl (still beautiful, still classy) and Josemaria Benedict if it was a boy. I still had so many doubts even after we decided on both of the names. I was so freaked out about screwing them up, I mean her initials would be BM, his name would be JOSEMARIA. Great. I could not get people's weird reactions out of my mind and the permanent nature of the decision made me a bit nauseous, or maybe that was just from being pregnant. Either way, I would say that the last 4 months of the pregnancy were spent with me freaking out all too frequently about the choice of our second kid's name. Then the baby came, it was another girl, we named her Lucy. Then we changed it 30 minutes later to Bernadette (partially due to how doped up I was after a c-section, and partially because I was still freaking out about it).

The decision is so tough, and the fact that you AND your husband have to AGREE on the name makes it even harder! Maybe you don't have these problems, but this is how things go here for us. My sister who I mentioned above has it even hard since she and her family are Byzantine Catholic and her husband is very adamant about using very specific Eastern saint names. Here are a few examples of the choices he gave her when she was pregnant with one of their 5 daughters (this is derived from an extensive list that he made for her):

Rohama     Meaning: “Having Obtained Mercy” Ge’ez/Biblical
Saida ~ Saidah          Meaning: “Helper” Amharic   or “Happy” Muslim
Safia ~ Safiya             Meaning: “Pure & Wise” or “Lions Share” Arabic/Abyssinian
Samrawit    Meaning: “She Is Unity” or “She Who Unifies” Amharic/Ge’ez
Selam        Meaning: “Peace” Amharic/Tigrigna
Semira       Meaning: “Fulfilled” Muslim
Tinsae ~ Tensae       Meaning: “Resurrection” Amharic
Twebesta   Meaning: “Mother Of St George” Amharic/Biblical
Tsehay      Meaning: “Sun” Amharic

This is only about 1/4 of the list- we pull it out every once and while to show people and have a good laugh, and my sister thinks it's pretty funny too.They've been able to settle on names for 5 little girls so far, and the names are all beautiful and very unique, but my sister pretty much always dreads the comments made by family members and perfect strangers.

No matter how confident you are about it, if you have chosen a more unique name, people will have something to say about it.

With both of our girls we got/get a lot of "oh, wow. you don't hear that a lot!" or "wow, I have never heard that before!" (Naomi and Bernadette are not that crazy, it is just that they're not named Madison or Abigale - beautiful names, just more common). What they're really saying is they don't like it. Occasionally I will get someone who genuinely loves their names and have nothing but compliments and then I actually feel good about my decisions and I want to give them a big hug. 
The fact is, I have NO idea what the child would want their name to be, or whether they will like it at all once they are older. Obviously, in the end, what people think about your child's name should be the last thing you're considering since it is your child, not theirs.
And in the end, we are inevitably going to screw up our children in some way, so it's most fitting to start with their name and just get it out of the way, right? This is why I will most likely always freak out about it.

 

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